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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Friend and Foe: Dealing With Workplace 'Frenemies'

by Clea Badion, The Creative Group


Have you ever been excited to show a friend your new shorter, sassier haircut only to have the person say, "I was just reading that long hair is really hot right now"?

People like this -- enemies disguised as friends -- are known as "frenemies" and are common in life. In fact, you may know them best from work. Unfortunately, few things can wreak havoc on your career like a colleague who seems friendly to your face and is anything but behind your back.

What do you do when you discover a frenemy at your gate? Following are some tips:

Emphasize collaboration. Even frenemies can sometimes work productively together. A large company, for example, might ask its advertising and promotional agencies -- competitors -- to collaborate on an international product launch. Borrow a page from this playbook and always focus on how you and a frenemy can collaborate on a common cause. For the sake of the success of the project, emphasize the importance of putting any differences aside.

Call their bluff. Imagine a colleague you've been friendly with takes full credit for a project on which you did half the work. Your best course of action is to have a private, straightforward conversation with him or her. Diplomatically tell your coworker how you feel and listen to the response. It's possible the situation is the result of a misunderstanding. Though confronting a true frenemy won't necessarily change his or her behavior, the person will know you're not an easy target.

Clarify your role. When working with a frenemy, draw clear lines between duties. Be sure each of you is assigned specific tasks, and then document your areas of responsibility so there is no confusion. Indeed, it's generally best to overcommunicate and overdocument when dealing with a frenemy.

Speak up at team meetings about your areas of responsibility and provide regular, written updates to those you report to; this way, if a frenemy stretches the truth about his or her involvement, you can confidently point out the discrepancy. Clear, direct communication also makes it more challenging for anyone to question which ideas and contributions are yours.

Remain professional. If you've been burned by someone, it may be tempting to give the person a taste of his or her own medicine. But it's best to behave in a professional, tactful manner while also keeping your guard up. As with gossip or office politics, you should remain above the fray as much as possible. If you get involved in a tit-for-tat game, it can damage your own reputation.

Don't feed the frenzy. Along the same lines, make sure you aren't creating a competitive atmosphere with your own actions. Subtle behaviors and attitudes -- appearing like you know more because you've been at the firm longer than a colleague, or assuming you should be awarded a corner office because you brought in a new client -- can make an enemy out of a work friend.

The best approach for dealing with a frenemy? Focus on producing great work and demonstrating your professionalism to your manager and colleagues. While you can't control your frenemy's actions, you can be a straight shooter yourself -- and cover your bases by documenting your successes.

The Creative Group is a specialized staffing service placing creative, advertising, marketing and Web professionals with a variety of firms on a project basis. For more information, visit creativegroup.com.


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