by Clea Badion, Robert Half International
Creative, talented, brilliant. You would be thrilled if your boss used any of these words to describe you. But how about nice? Consider it for a moment: When asked to come up a definitive description of your capabilities, your manager says, "She's very nice." True, there are far worse labels, but if someone used that description of you following a first date, there might not be a second one.
It's not that a pleasant demeanor isn't a valuable trait on the job. After all, people want to work with individuals who are tactful, responsive and quick to offer a helping hand.
The trouble with being too nice is that it often goes hand in hand with other traits, such as being too accommodating, unwilling to speak up for yourself, or hesitant to offer constructive criticism to your colleagues. Following are some tips to help you be nice and creative, talented and brilliant:
Set boundaries. People who are too nice rarely say no. However, there's a vast chasm between helping out in a pinch and being overly accommodating. If you accept every request, even when your plate is full, you risk being taken advantage of and can quickly burn out. The next time a colleague asks for your help, and you're slammed with your own work, ask if you can lend a hand later, when you're less busy.
Speak up. If you find that other people often present an idea you had but didn't vocalize (those "I thought of that, too!" moments), stop being so shy. You'll gain more visibility if you regularly contribute at meetings or brainstorming sessions and while serving on project teams. As long as you remain professional, others will respect your ideas, even if they don't adopt them.
Be direct. You've reviewed a new hire's draft of a proposal and have several changes. Since you don't want to hurt his feelings, you make the adjustments yourself. But are you really doing him any favors? If he doesn't learn from his mistakes, he's likely to repeat them. Instead, offer constructive criticism and give him another pass at the proposal.
Avoid being overly empathetic. There's another reason nice people take on too much work: They are overly empathetic. Perhaps your best work friend always turns to you when she's overwhelmed. While she doesn't directly ask you for help, you end up offering anyway, even when you already have several balls in the air. After all, you hate to see her so stressed out. Next time this happens, pause before you offer assistance. It's often enough to lend an ear and offer encouragement without jumping into action. Practice listening more and acting less.
Exude confidence. Whether you're talking to a manager or a coworker, be succinct and direct. Nice people frequently feel the need to justify their thought processes by describing them in excruciating detail. But no one wants to sit through a 10-minute explanation as you slowly get to your point. The truth is there's no need to overexplain. The person you're talking to will ask for clarification if he or she needs it.
Keep in mind that if you start diplomatically turning down projects or offering critiques of others' work, you'll be displaying new behavior. This will take time to get used to, not only for you, but also for your coworkers and manager. However, by sticking to your new approach, you can be nice and not have to worry about being taken advantage of.
Robert Half International is the world's first and largest specialized staffing firm and has more than 360 offices worldwide. For more information about our professional services, please visit rhi.com. For additional workplace articles and podcasts, visit workvine.com.
Creative, talented, brilliant. You would be thrilled if your boss used any of these words to describe you. But how about nice? Consider it for a moment: When asked to come up a definitive description of your capabilities, your manager says, "She's very nice." True, there are far worse labels, but if someone used that description of you following a first date, there might not be a second one.
It's not that a pleasant demeanor isn't a valuable trait on the job. After all, people want to work with individuals who are tactful, responsive and quick to offer a helping hand.
The trouble with being too nice is that it often goes hand in hand with other traits, such as being too accommodating, unwilling to speak up for yourself, or hesitant to offer constructive criticism to your colleagues. Following are some tips to help you be nice and creative, talented and brilliant:
Set boundaries. People who are too nice rarely say no. However, there's a vast chasm between helping out in a pinch and being overly accommodating. If you accept every request, even when your plate is full, you risk being taken advantage of and can quickly burn out. The next time a colleague asks for your help, and you're slammed with your own work, ask if you can lend a hand later, when you're less busy.
Speak up. If you find that other people often present an idea you had but didn't vocalize (those "I thought of that, too!" moments), stop being so shy. You'll gain more visibility if you regularly contribute at meetings or brainstorming sessions and while serving on project teams. As long as you remain professional, others will respect your ideas, even if they don't adopt them.
Be direct. You've reviewed a new hire's draft of a proposal and have several changes. Since you don't want to hurt his feelings, you make the adjustments yourself. But are you really doing him any favors? If he doesn't learn from his mistakes, he's likely to repeat them. Instead, offer constructive criticism and give him another pass at the proposal.
Avoid being overly empathetic. There's another reason nice people take on too much work: They are overly empathetic. Perhaps your best work friend always turns to you when she's overwhelmed. While she doesn't directly ask you for help, you end up offering anyway, even when you already have several balls in the air. After all, you hate to see her so stressed out. Next time this happens, pause before you offer assistance. It's often enough to lend an ear and offer encouragement without jumping into action. Practice listening more and acting less.
Exude confidence. Whether you're talking to a manager or a coworker, be succinct and direct. Nice people frequently feel the need to justify their thought processes by describing them in excruciating detail. But no one wants to sit through a 10-minute explanation as you slowly get to your point. The truth is there's no need to overexplain. The person you're talking to will ask for clarification if he or she needs it.
Keep in mind that if you start diplomatically turning down projects or offering critiques of others' work, you'll be displaying new behavior. This will take time to get used to, not only for you, but also for your coworkers and manager. However, by sticking to your new approach, you can be nice and not have to worry about being taken advantage of.
Robert Half International is the world's first and largest specialized staffing firm and has more than 360 offices worldwide. For more information about our professional services, please visit rhi.com. For additional workplace articles and podcasts, visit workvine.com.
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